Have You Told These Stupid Lies?
1. The Dangerous Warning
My husband’s father explained to him that the danger light button was the vehicle’s self-destruct button. He was horrified the first time he saw the warning lights on.”
2. Who was the last person to drink?
“My stepfather always drank this vegetable juice to lose weight, but for years he pretended it was blood and tried to convince us to drink it; practically every time he asked us to drink it, we screamed.” For years, I believed this until I finally read the bottle and realized it was just vegetable juice.”
3. Is This a Blasphemy?
“A few thousand years ago, a group of lunatics from the desert decided that there was a Big Man in the Sky who wanted them to k**l anyone who disagreed with them about the exact qualities of The Big Man in the Sky. They eventually came to believe that if you mast**bated, The Big Man in the Sky would send you to hell for all eternity, but that he was completely happy with slavery. Unfortunately, many people still believe this untruth.”
4. A Bold Attempt
In high school, a student asked why American soldiers in WWII were called doughboys. In France, they would visit French women and fall in love with the French bread, which is why they kept returning. Hence the Pillsbury doughboy. “My teacher dismissed this explanation quickly, but for a moment, I had them.”
5. Life Doesn’t Have to Be All About the Present
“Carpe Diem was a popular theme in high school and college.
6. Santa Claus isn’t the right kind of person
When I was around four years old, my older brother told me that since we didn’t have a chimney, we had to leave the door unlocked on Christmas Eve so Santa could enter. A month later, we were robbed.” We forgot about it.”
7. Gramps is perhaps a unique individual.
“My grandfather used to tell me a story about how he went hunting one day and a snake bit off his leg because he was so focused on the hunt.” Then, in a fit of rage, he cut her open from head to tail, but after a while, he felt horrible and stitched her back together. After a while, his leg grew back. “I have no idea why I thought I didn’t know anything.”
8. There is actually a wide selection available
In my youth, I heard this: “God’s designs are so exact that if the earth were a few inches closer or farther away from the sun, we’d burn up or freeze.”
9. The World’s Dreadful Situation
“A government that provides financial assistance to persons in need (even during times of economic and health crises) is a form of Communism that should never be considered.” To be clear, I do not believe this, but I know a lot of people who do.”
In middle school, there was a story that I was a Russian spy. Because they didn’t want to reveal personal information to Russia, everyone ignored me for a month.”
11. My grandpa had a lot of knowledge.
“My grandfather once told me a story about road signs that warn about falling pebbles. He claimed they were constructed by a Native American chief in an attempt to locate his estranged son, Falling Rock. Every time I saw those signs, I would look for him, only to find out years later that he had fabricated them. “I was a dunderhead as a kid.”