A toxic partner can drain you emotionally and harm your mental health. But what if you’re the toxic one?
Relationships aren’t perfect, either. Imperfections are normal, but toxicity is not. In contrast to imperfection, toxicity drains you emotionally and leaves you with negative feelings.
It’s always easier to blame someone else for being toxic, but you should also take a step back and reflect. What if you are the one who is toxic? We must examine our own behavior and patterns. Sometimes, we’re the toxic one, but we refuse to accept it. Accepting it isn’t a sin since being aware will be the first step toward change.
Identify whether or not you relate to these 10 signs of a toxic romantic partner, and be honest about your answers
1. Being controlling
As if they are the same thing, being bossy and being controlling are often used interchangeably but, in reality, they are quite different. There is a line that needs to be drawn. Trying to gain power over another person is as toxic as it gets when you are controlling.
2. Not respecting their privacy
Sometimes, we are guilty of eavesdropping on our partners’ phones, but if it gets to a point where we don’t respect their privacy, like reading their email or texts on a daily basis, it becomes problematic. If you have any concerns, talk to them, but never intrude on their privacy!
3. Always wanting things your way
Sometimes it is okay to want your way in a relationship, but manipulating is one of the most toxic things that you can do. In a relationship, there is another party involved, and you must respect their wishes as well. One can’t only care about what they want, and it’s not fair to only do things to get their way and nothing else. Relationships require compromise!
4. Changing them as a person
Do not confuse this with wanting your partner to do something, but then expecting them to change completely, as a person, to suit your ways is a very toxic attitude.
5. Only your needs matter
It is your duty to remember someone’s needs and to realize that those needs are as important as your own. You are toxic when only your needs matter.
6. Telling them how to feel
It is neither your right nor your place to tell your partner how they should feel about something according to your convenience. This is a subtle and internal form of gaslighting. When you are constantly invalidating your partner’s feelings and emotions, you are being toxic. It is not your place to decide how they feel.
7. Emotional withholding
If you withhold affection from your partner when they need it, and they are going through a rough patch, then you are being toxic. If you intentionally hold back your love and affection, you are being extremely toxic in a relationship.
8. Emotional manipulation
When you release the waterworks when things do not go your way, you are not being emotional, but extremely manipulative. If you guilt trip your partner into doing or not doing things you want, you are being toxic and making them feel as if they are.
9. They are constantly scared of upsetting you
When your partner complains that they are always afraid of upsetting you because they never know how you will react to certain things on certain days, and they always have to gauge your mood in order to make sure there is no outburst, then you are being extremely toxic and harmful.
10. Emotional and physical a.b.u.s.e
Under no circumstances should you hit your partner. It is the most toxic form of communication. As a result, a.b.u.s.e can be emotional too, and you must remember that your partner is a human being just like you.
Number 9 was my issue. My ex could go full blown rabid at just a hint of not living up to her standards. Number 1 as well.
I seen maybe one thing with me maybe I invaded privacy wasn’t looking at their phone or nothing like that just took in what she said and then things that were said to me she could never answer back or explain what she meant by things I know the whole community and people close to me have all the knowledge that I needed to better myself and go forward and not throw away my life and family the store like I did and you know what people should also believe me and see the truth all I ever wanted was good for both of us and happiness and she used to always be with me so I actually wanted to give her something that was her own special and that her make it business out of it and we do it together and grow some we could pass down to the children but what’s crazy always an excuse he drove me crazy and made me look at things way different because you know you’re doing something good and positive and you want nothing good and positive why would it be difficult and the point is you just wanted to go back to working does or whatever it’s called when you see lies you try to look past that cuz you can’t communicate cuz you know it’s just going to be another lie what do you do do you give up on someone or did you try to make it work and get through to the person like the one person said I said all the time if two people care and love each other it’s not hard you know what I thought there was a good people out there and that somebody in her circle that knows both of us or whatever was reach out to me and help he’s done