My Husband Wants to Leave as He Doesn’t Get My Attention After I Gave Birth to Twins

New Mom Struggles to Balance Marriage and Motherhood After Having Twins

Emma, a 29-year-old mother, has always been the strong one in her family, managing work, home, and relationships with ease. But six months ago, her life changed when she and her husband, Matt, welcomed twin sons. While the birth of their children brought joy, it also brought unexpected challenges that started to strain their marriage.

Emma shared her story with us.

She wrote:

“I never thought I’d be sharing something like this, but I’m feeling lost and alone. My husband, Matt, and I have been together for eight years and married for five. We’ve always had a strong, loving relationship, but since the twins were born, everything has changed so much that I hardly recognize us anymore.

We were so excited when we found out we were having twins. But nothing really prepares you for the reality of raising two babies at once. The sleepless nights, constant feedings, and endless diapers are overwhelming. I love our boys, but I feel like I’m drowning under all the responsibilities.”

Emma continued:

“Since the twins were born, my whole world has revolved around them. I’m always exhausted, getting only a few hours of sleep each night. Matt helps when he can, but he works long hours, so most of the childcare falls on me. I know I’ve been distant, and I feel guilty, but I just don’t have the energy for anything else. I haven’t had a moment to myself in months, and our relationship has suffered because of it.”

“Last night, Matt told me he’s thinking about leaving. He said he feels neglected and misses the way things used to be when it was just the two of us. Hearing that broke my heart because I miss us too. But I don’t know how to balance being a good mother and a good wife when I’m barely holding on.”

Emma explained:

“I tried to tell Matt that this is just a phase, that the boys won’t be this demanding forever, and that we’ll find our way back to each other. But he looked so defeated, like he’s already made up his mind. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t know how to fix this. How do I show him that I still love him when I’m too exhausted to even think straight?”

“Now, I’m sitting here, looking at my sleeping babies, wondering how I can choose between my husband and my children. I don’t want to lose my marriage, but I don’t want to fail as a mother either. What should I do?”

To help Emma, we’ve put together some tips on balancing parenthood and maintaining a strong relationship.

Tips for Emma:

1. Communicate Openly: Have an honest conversation with Matt about your feelings and challenges. Let him know you love him and want to work through this together.
2. Ask for Help: Don’t hesitate to ask family and friends for support. Even a few hours of help can give you and Matt some much-needed time together.
3. Prioritize Self-Care: Take small breaks for yourself, even if it’s just a quick walk or a quiet cup of tea, to recharge.
4. Reconnect with Matt: Look for simple ways to reconnect, like sharing a meal after the babies are asleep or watching a movie together. Small moments can help repair your relationship.
5. Be Patient: Remember, this tough time will pass. Remind yourselves that the sleepless nights won’t last forever, and your relationship will be stronger for getting through it together.
6. Set Small Goals: Set small, realistic goals for your relationship, like having one meaningful conversation each week or planning a regular date night at home.

1. Show Appreciation: Make an effort to thank Matt for anything he does, no matter how small. Feeling appreciated can help strengthen your bond.
2. Consider Counseling: Couples counseling can provide a safe space to express your concerns and learn how to support each other during this challenging time.
3. Include Matt in Parenting: Find ways for Matt to be more involved with the twins, like taking turns with nighttime feedings or celebrating the kids’ milestones together. This can help him feel closer to both you and the kids.
4. Forgive Yourself: Remember, you’re doing your best, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this new chapter in your life.

Being a mother is a big responsibility and can be challenging. While some women choose not to have children, others, despite their doubts, decide to become moms and face these challenges head-on.