Mom Asks If She’s Selfish for Refusing To Pass Down Her Engagement Ring to Her Future Daughter-in-Law

The engagement ring symbolizes a person’s love for their future spouse, but they can also be passed down from mother to daughter through the generations. The rings are, however, usually meant for just one person, selected just for them and no one else. In a Reddit post, a mom asked if parents should be expected to pass down their engagement rings to their children. Theoretically, they aren’t going to take it with them when they die. It is possible that the mom in this story is thinking just that after she shared how she decided not to pass on her engagement ring to her son.

Image Source: Pexels

Redditors were asked if the woman was selfish or if her son was acting entitled. Read her full post here.

“My son, Sam, and his longtime girlfriend, now fiancee, Emily, both 26, decided to get married.”. They announced their engagement privately to my husband and me, and after the initial excitement they said they had something important to share with me.

Emily wanted my engagement ring, so Sam gave it to her. Sam said this would be an excellent way to avoid starting his marriage in debt from having to buy a new expensive diamond ring. Emily also said that she liked the design of my ring a lot and would love for me to pass it on to her.

My engagement ring is beautiful. I have worn it every day since my husband proposed to me with it, and to be honest, I still have many years to live left that I want to continue wearing it until I am old and grey. Furthermore, my ring is not a family heirloom. My husband bought it for me many years ago. Thus, I told them that I appreciated them wanting my ring, but I wanted to keep it. I listed the reasons above and how I don’t want to part with my ring yet for the rest of my still-long life. When I am older, I would be more than happy to give it to their children.

Sam and Emily weren’t happy with my answer, and Sam actually called me selfish and materialistic. Diamonds, he said, are a scam, and he asked how I could let him go into debt for a new ring. Despite the disappointment, Emily said that she had hoped that my ring would become a family heirloom and would be a token of welcoming her into our family (Emily and I are good friends). Additionally, they said I could keep my wedding band, so I wasn’t left without any rings.


Thank you to everyone who commented. It was interesting to read about your own engagement rings and diamond alternatives. When our son started arguing with me, my husband told him to leave and walk it off. While he said he was on my side and would have respected my choice with the ring, he admitted that he was glad I still loved my ring so much after so many years!”

Image Source: Pexels

Redditors jumped to the mom’s defense on this one. One user wrote:

“It was bad enough that Emily was there, but her expressing her own disappointment? That’s unbelievable. What’s next, they want OP’s house so they don’t have to “start their marriage in debt”? Go ahead and throw in all your savings, you two are old and your lives are basically over! In my position, I’d seriously question where my husband and I went wrong in raising this self-absorbed AH and how he came to be this way. “NTA time to grow up.”

Another added:

They want a diamond, but they don’t want to pay for one. Total AHs – both of them. This request is totally unreasonable and selfish (really outlandishly rude). I can’t believe they were in agreement with asking you. Both of them are nuts. Even though they call it a “scam” whatever, it sounds like they actually want a moissanite. No way! What a couple of jerks.”

Image Source: Pexels

Also, many talked about their cheaper engagement rings with great pride and affection. A poster wrote:

“My wedding ring is made of copper. The total cost is probably in the pennies hahaha I love it because it represents our love as well as our love for utilitarianism.

Image Source: PexelsIs this mom selfish, or should her son and future daughter-in-law stop acting so entitled? Tell us in the comments.

Thank you for reading. Could you please share this story with your family and friends?


  1. “AITA for not wanting to pass down my engagement ring to my future DIL?” Reddit.

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  1. First if you cannot afford to get married you should not. Your ring is your ring and nobody should guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do. Your son sound very privileged. Starting a married with a token that is not given freely is a bad decision. Lady keep your ring, your husband worked hard to present it to you. Your son can do the same thing. Buy a cheaper ring. When my husband and I got together he promised me he would replace the cheaper ring it’s a more expensive ring, and he did.

  2. I still love my rings and I would not give them away! As long as they been dating hoe should already have the money saved to buy her ring! Can’t believe they asked you this, I feel so sorry that your son Turned out to be a entitled jerk

  3. I can see if you want to pass it down after your passing but the nerve of these selfish kids needs a good azz kicking.That ring represents your husband love how could they even think of taking it away.shame on them

  4. The ring can be given to whomever she choses in her will. Not while she is alive and wearing it every day.

  5. These selfish kids do not need or deserve this mother’s ring. They can buy their own or do without.

  6. Buy a simple band, and buy the big Diamond for your 25th anniversary.. by then you probably can afford it, if she is still around!

  7. Think they forget that ring symbolises vows from man to wife it’s not transferable til death do you part

  8. If Mom was divorced, or perhaps even if her husband had died and she no longer wore the ring, I could understand it, but under these circumstances, NO. Not only we’re the kids selfish, but for the son to ask with his fiancé there… selfish and stupid. I would feel like I’d been sabotaged. So sad that that young couple is so without tact or class.

    1. When my Daddy passed Mother made herself a ring with the diamond, the gold from that ring and the wedding ring she had melted down and made a nugget for my sister and myself.. When she passed my sister was executor and she picked that for herself. I wasn’t really upset. I lived 1000 miles away so didn’t help her much help.

  9. OMG the self entitlement is amazing. It would go to your own daughter when you are ready to give it up, if you do or when you’re gone. OMG, grow up children. Be kind, you just made an impression on your soon to be mother-in-law, not a good one either.

  10. Unfortunately, there are so many divorces in this world. What if she had given it to her daughter in law and they got the divorced. Would the ring go back to the family or would she keep it. If I were going to give a ring , it would go to a daughter. But I agree that the mom should keep her ring. It was a gift to her from her husband and it is hers and hers alone. Her son needs to gift his fiancé with a ring that would mean the world to her. It is ridiculous to think he is entitled.