Family dinners are usually great. In this man’s story, however, the dinner was at the house of a grandmother who is financially struggling. His girlfriend understood his grandmother’s situation and was sympathetic towards her. What happened then led him to ask for advice on Reddit. According to him:
“I know the title sounds bad, but this is a very specific situation, so please listen to me. Several months ago, I (26M) started dating a woman named Ashley (26F). The fact that Ashley grew up financially well off and relatively privileged has been a source of friction in our relationship as she does not comprehend the level of poverty I and my family grew up in. Ashley is also a heavier person who is very vocal about body positivity and who will stand up to anyone f.a.t s.h.a.m.i.n.g herself or anyone else.
My grandma (70) is also important to this story. My grandmother is a wonderful woman, but she is also very poor. Her cooking is excellent, but she can’t afford to have us over for dinner. She refuses to accept any money from me or anyone else, and she won’t allow anyone to bring food, saying she has a responsibility to take care of the family. She also takes offense if you decline the invitation. We had dinner with her about a month ago and she enjoyed the food so much, she went back for second and third large portions. We don’t do this in my family, we all take one small portion, as my grandmother has to eat leftovers for the week, so Ashley taking more meant my grandmother wouldn’t eat for a couple of days.
Ashley was shocked when I explained this to her after dinner. She refused the “charity” out of pride, so I tried to bring her food.
This weekend, my grandmother has invited us to dinner again. In our discussion with Ashley before we left, I stressed my grandmother’s financial situation and asked her to take only a single smaller portion so she can have food for the week. If she was still hungry after the meal, I said we could go for another meal. Ashley became very angry and said, “she will not be shamed for eating, and she will not limit her food. It is her decision when she has had ‘enough food.’ She also said I was f.a.t-s.h.a.m.i.n.g her.
I don’t know how long the relationship will last, but I’d like some opinions on if I’m the AH after this entire ordeal. Should I limit my girlfriend’s eating?
Many people are asking me why I didn’t tell my girlfriend before the first meal. To be honest, I didn’t think about it. I had never thought that someone would go to someone else’s house and eat two days worth of food in one sitting.”
What should the boy do? Can you help him?
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