Less than a month after she tied the knot, a woman is seeking divorce after her husband humiliated her in front of their guests
Communication, respect, and trust are the cornerstones of a successful marriage. If you are not able to have these things on your wedding day, which is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life, is there any hope for the future? Not in the opinion of this woman. The bride wrote to Slate’s Dear Prudence advice column to explain that her husband had ruined their wedding by going against her wishes.
A woman said the only “hard rule” she laid down before the wedding was that she didn’t want her husband to rub cake in her face at the reception – but he grabbed her head and pushed her into it.
“I got married just before Christmas and am hoping to be divorced or annulled by the end of January.
“I never cared about getting married, but I wasn’t opposed to it either. When my boyfriend proposed in 2020, we decided to go ahead. We each took on half of the responsibility for organizing the wedding, but I think I was pretty reasonable about compromise when he really wanted something. Only one rule was that he could not rub cake in my face at the reception.
“As a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t. Rather, he grabbed me by the back of the head and pushed my head into it. Since the cake was destroyed, he had a bunch of cupcakes as a backup.”
Although the bride immediately told her new husband she was “done” with him, her relatives have been begging her to give him another chance.
“I left,” she said. “We’re done,” she said the next day. I stand by that statement. Over the holidays, everyone has gotten together to tell me I should give him a second chance.
“I overreacted because I am claustrophobic after a car accident years ago, and I panicked when I was shoved inside a cake and held there.
“They also tell me I love him – even though I don’t feel that at all – and that he loves me, so I should not give up at the first hurdle. I don’t want to, but everyone seems so united and certain they are right that I wonder if they are right.”
As a result, Prudence advised the bride to proceed with the divorce despite her husband’s pleas to halt it – because her husband’s actions were a “red flag”.
“Everyone knows you’re making a mistake, but they’re not the ones who have to live with a person whose behavior turns them off massively. That’s your responsibility. Listen to yourself only.
It was a red flag that he did not respect you and your wishes. Consider which of your loved ones doesn’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”