He demands that his mother give the engagement ring to her daughter-in-law, but she refuses: “it’s not a family heirloom”

He wants his mom to give the engagement ring to his daughter-in-law, but she refuses: “it’s not a family heirloom”

image: Pexels / Not the actual photo

A woman posted on Reddit about not wanting to pass down my engagement ring to her future daughter-in-law?

Sam, (26), and Emily, (26), his longtime girlfriend and now fiancee, have decided to get married. They announced their engagement to my husband and me privately, and after the initial excitement, they said they wanted to speak with me about something important.

Sam wanted to give Emily my engagement ring. Sam said that this would prevent him from starting his marriage in debt by having to buy a new diamond ring. Moreover, Emily added that she liked the look of my ring a lot and would like me to pass it on to her.

My engagement ring is beautiful. I have worn it every day since my husband proposed to me with it, and to be honest, I would like to keep wearing it until I am old and grey. My ring is not a family heirloom. My husband bought it for me many years ago. So, I told them I appreciated their interest in my ring, but I wanted to keep it. Above I mentioned my reasons for not wanting to part with my ring yet for the rest of my life. I would, however, be more than happy to give it to their future children when I am old.

Sam and Emily weren’t happy with my answer, and Sam actually called me selfish and materialistic. He said diamonds are a scam and asked how I could let him go into debt for a new ring. As a result, Emily expressed disappointment, saying that she had hoped my ring would become a family heirloom and would serve as a token of welcoming her into our family (I liked Emily and we got along well). Moreover, they said I could keep my wedding band, so I wasn’t left without any rings to wear.


Thank you to everyone who commented. I enjoyed reading about your own engagement rings and diamond alternatives. When our son began arguing with me, my husband defended me and told him to leave and walk away. He said he was on my side and would have respected my decision regarding the ring, but he admitted that he was happy that I still loved the ring so much after all these years!

As soon as the story was shared, thousands of comments voiced their opinions, as well as complaints about her son and her daughter in law.

The top comment read, “Bad enough that Emily was there too, but Emily actually chimed in to express her disappointment?!” This is gobsmacking. Then they ask to be gifted the OP’s house so they don’t “start their marriage in debt”? Throw in all your savings while you’re at it, you’re old and your life is basically over anyway! In OP’s shoes, I’d be seriously questioning where we went wrong in raising this self-absorbed AH and how he could possibly have turned out this way. NTA time for them to grow up.”

A commenter added, “That shit floored me too.”. Not the way to start a relationship with your MIL. In addition, if they’re so concerned with “materialism” and the price of a diamond, they could always get a cheaper stone. If OP insists on an actual diamond while still being a cheap AH, pawn shops are full of other people’s heirlooms and diamond rings for a bargain.”

The commenter added, “I think they actually want a diamond, but they don’t want to pay for it themselves.”. What total AHs – both of them. In my opinion, this is a totally unreasonable and selfish (outlandishly rude) request. It is hard to believe they agreed to ask you. They are both crazy. However, it sounds like they actually do want a diamond despite calling it a “scam” or whatever. And hell no they cannot have yours. What a couple of jerks.”

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  1. I think a rig/diamond is not worth a child’s friendship. U could have gotten much more out of it by sharing it by giving it as a wedding gift to your son.